


Just Be

by Kali_Maa



Series: For the Love of Ellana [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kali_Maa/pseuds/Kali_Maa
Summary: The months have not been kind to Ellana or her heart. Drowning in loneliness she reaches into her past for relief.





	Just Be

**Author's Note:**

> A very NSFW one-shot occurring nearly 2 years after my story Dreams and Secrets. I just couldn't let it go.

Ellana finished her bath. It was one of the few things that soothed her aching hand. She usually used a spell to dry herself but her magic caused the mark to flare up painfully. So, she dried herself with a towel, glanced at her uniform briefly and reach for her coat instead.

It was late. She slipped outside into the freezing night air.

 _I should have worn boots._ She thought regretfully. Luckily the weather was starting to turn again and the ground was free of snow or ice.

She moved swiftly on the balls of her feet though the keep. It would have been quicker to cut through the garden. But she avoided the garden. She avoided a lot of places in Skyhold now. Too many memories.

Ellana did not worry about being seen. With Corypheus defeated and no immediate threats looming, there were so few people remaining at Skyhold. It didn’t matter anyway. She didn’t care who saw her. The days of worrying about what others thought of her were long gone. Everything had changed.

When she pushed open the door to his office, Cullen did not look up from his work. Too caught up in whatever he was working on. Always her Commander. Never a moment’s rest. You could see the tension in his body. He rubbed his neck more than ever.

_Why couldn’t he just be?_

Ellana was only steps away from his desk when he finally looked up. Startled he instinctively reached for his sword before realizing there was no danger.

“Inquisitor!” he called out. I did not hear you come in. Is something the matter?

Ellana walked around the side of the desk, never taking her eyes off of him. Clearly making him uncomfortable by the way he squirmed.

“Do you ever stop?” she asked.

Cullen regained his composure. “There is still much to be done Inquisitor. Is there something I can do for you?” He addressed her as professionally as ever.

Ellana walked around the desk so that she was standing just next to him. Looking down at him blankly while she studied his face. He didn’t make her nervous anymore. Nothing did. In fact, she didn’t feel much of anything anymore. Ellana hopped up on to Cullen’s desk and crossed her legs. Sitting on the Commander's paperwork much to his annoyance.

Cullen glanced down briefly before making a concerted effort to focus on her face. Pretending not to notice her bare legs and feet under the coat.

Ellana began to undo the buttons slowly. Refusing to break eye contact.

“Inquisitor, please -”, he tried to protest.

“Ellana,” she corrected.

“Inquisitor!” he repeated. His voice obstinate. “What is it you think you are doing?”

Just then Ellana shrugged the coat off of her arms so that she was sitting completely naked on his desk.

Cullen couldn’t resists taking in her naked body. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Ellana took the opportunity to slide one leg over Cullen’s knees. She pushed herself onto his lap so that she was now straddling him.

He stared into her eyes as she began to run her fingers through his hair. Undoing his perfect curls.

Ellana focused on his mouth. Remembering the feeling of his scar against her lips. She wondered if he tasted as good as she remembered.

She leaned in to kiss him. Not bothering with warm and sweet. This was no cautionary kiss. She parted his lips with her tongue. Sucking his into her mouth.

“Inquisitor-” He half-mumbled, half-moaned into her open mouth. Willing himself to stop.  

“Inquisitor-” he continued finally coming to his senses.

Cullen grabbed her by the shoulders and little too roughly, tearing his lips from hers.

“Ellana stop!” he yelled. Fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. He jerked his hands away when he saw her wince.

Ellana pulled back. A confused look on her face.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why?” he laughed without humor. “Because the last time you kissed me. We kissed. Things...” Cullen trailed off looking for the right words.

“Things didn’t end so well for me.”

Ellana saw the pain in his eyes. He was quick to hide it. Forcing a neutral expression.

“I…I am sorry for that Cullen. I told you then, my feelings for you were genuine. Are genuine.”

“But you love someone else, Ellana!” Cullen managed to choke the words out. Digging his nails into the palms of his hands. Forcing himself to push her away. He had to protect himself this time. Watching her and Solas together had been torture. Their stolen glances. The way he brushed against her when they thought no one was looking. Ellana rushing out of war meetings, happy and excited, knowing she was going to meet _him_.

Still, he had wanted her. So badly. She was right here. Breasts only inches from his lips. Lean, muscular legs on either side of him straddling his lap. He could feel the heat from her core though his clothing. He didn’t dare look down. Somehow, he knew there would be a wet spot on his breeches from her and he wouldn’t be able to resist taking her on the desk, hard and fast.

 But he couldn’t risk it. Not again.

“It’s been eight months Cullen. Eight months and no word. He is gone. He told me he loved me and then he disappeared. What would you have me do? Wait? For how long? I am tired of waiting. For fucks sake I killed an ancient darkspawn magister. I saved the world. Do I not deserve happiness too?”

Ellana was practically shaking. That was when Cullen noticed her red rimmed eyes. Glassy with tears that she would never allow to spill. Dark half-moon circles that had not been present before. Her significantly thinner frame. Still as beautiful as ever but with more sharp angles now. The glow that he was drawn to was still there. But it was tainted. With something darker, malignant.

“Tell me to go and I will.” Ellana searched his face hopefully.

Cullen could not stand to see her like this. Something in him broke and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. His lips claimed her with an intensity he felt unable to control. He relished the taste of her. Sweetness mingled with the saltiness of skin.  

His hands traveled up her sides grazing her nipples with each swipe and causing her to jump a little. One hand traveling up the back of her neck. His fingers finding purchase in her damp hair.

Ellana whined as he broke the kiss to look into her eyes.

“Do you remember what I promised you back then?” Cullen leaned in to whisper into her sensitive ears.

“No more promises,” she whispered back.

“I promised I would claim you. Make you mine,” he continued.

“No promises!” Ellana growled at him.

Cullen pulled away from her. The hand wrapped in her hair holding tight, forcing her to look at him.

“You do not have to accept it, but it is mine to give!” Cullen spoke defiantly. Harsher than he intended.

Ellana stilled. She wanted to believe him. That he could still love her and want her with the same intensity after-  everything. After choosing another man over him. She pushed the thought out of her head. It was dangerous to think like that.

Instead she decided to concentrate on unlacing his breeches. They each fought for dominance in their actions. Ellana working furiously at releasing him while Cullen fought to taste and suck her hard nipples.  

Ellana’s efforts were rewarded when she finally freed him. She did not consider how prepared she was to take him. She just wanted him inside of her.

Before Cullen could register the sensation of cool air on his bare skin, Ellana was sinking down, impaling herself onto him.  

“Maker’s breath,” he managed to get out before Ellana started to roll her hips.

“No, prayers, Cullen. I want…I want…” She moaned as she presser her hand to his lips.

Cullen opened his mouth and began to suck on her fingers.

“You want to get fucked? Is that what you want Inquisitor?” Cullen asked in a low voice, taking her hint. She needed something more intense. And he needed to show her that she didn't need to be in control to receive what she wanted. He could make love to her next time. His only job now was to ensure there would be a next time.

“I can tell, Ellana. You are sopping. I didn’t even have to work to make you wet.”

Ellana used her strong thighs to control the rise and fall onto his cock. Increasing her pace.

Culled brushed her hair away from her shoulders. Taking it tightly into his fist.

“Have you always been like this? Or is it just for me?” he asked.

When she didn’t answer he yanked her hair back.

“Answer me!” he demanded.

“It’s just for you, Cullen,” she whispered.

“That’s Commander! And I think you are lying, Inquisitor. I think you have always been like this. Always wet and ready for cock.”

Ellana was spurred on by his words. He was right. This was what she wanted. What she needed. She began to ride him hard. Coming close to her end.

“No Commander,” she whined. “It’s just for you.”

“Prove it, to me,” he demanded.

“How?”

Cullen stood abruptly, holding her tight enough so that she wouldn't be injured. But letting her slide off of his lap on to the floor.  Ellana dropped hard to her knees.

“Open.” He ordered as he slowly stroked himself above her. Looking up at him, there was a cold glint in his eyes. Ellana couldn't tell if it was for her or for him. _Please, don't let him truly hate me._

Still, Ellana didn’t hesitate, grabbing him with one hand and wrapping her lips around his hardness.

Cullen threw his head back and moaned. Ellana gave in allowing him to take charge. She enjoyed being openly desired. Being chased. This was so different from her former lover. It used to hurt to even think his name. Now it hurt more that she felt nothing.

Cullen began to thrust lightly between her lips. Ellana stared up at him. Again, that shy Chantry boy was gone. Not even a trace. She wasn't sure if this personality change was for her or if she was finally seeing the real Cullen. She had grown used to masks and duplicity.

“Maker look at you. Swallowing my cock like a common whore. No, sweetheart I don’t believe for one second any of this is for me. Did you lock the door?” He was teasing her.

Ellana considered for a moment how many scouts regularly interrupted them during a normal day. Her eyes went wide with panic for a moment. She hadn’t locked the door. And Scout Jim had notoriously terrible timing.

Cullen chuckled darkly when he saw the look in her eyes. “I think you like the thought of someone walking in here. Seeing the Commander fuck the Inquisitor’s mouth while she pleasures herself with her own fingers.

Ellana hadn’t even realized she was doing it.

Cullen pulled away. Her mouth releasing him with a wet pop.

“Please Cullen. Please Commander.” She whimpered.

He shook his head. “Not until I am sure you are doing this for me. Stand up. Turn around. Put your hands on the desk.”

Ellana took orders from no one. But for some reason she couldn’t stop herself. She did exactly what she was told.

Cullen kicked her legs apart. Luckily Ellana was holding the desk for balance. He lined himself up with her opening and thrust into her.

She cried out and he fully hilted himself inside of her.

Cullen wasted no time. He slammed into her hard. Increasing his pace until all you could hear was the loud slapping sounds of their bodies. He continued to pound her with enough power that the heavy desk began to move across the floor.

“Tell me again”, he grunted. “Is this for me?”

“Y-yes. Its just for you.”

“Who do you belong to?” he grunted.

“You Commander. I belong to you!” she managed between ragged breaths. Digging her nails into the wood.

That was all Ellana needed to push her over the edge. She shuddered around him as she reached her peak.

“Yes Commander, Creators yes!”.

Cullen felt the warm gush of her release around him. Cullen had come close himself. But he wasn’t finished with her. Not yet.

He pulled out and dropped down to his knees. Pressing his face into her core. Ellana cried out and her body shook as he lapped at her sensitive cunt. Allowing her to ride out the waves of pleasure against his face.

Ellana slumped over the desk. Her body limp and sensitive. She heard Cullen opening one of his drawers as he continued to lick her. Suddenly she felt his tongue on a new part of her. She flinched and tried to pull away but he held her hips.

"Relax," he growled as he tightened his grip on her. Trapping her between his desk and his face. He licked the puckered ring of muscle.  

For a moment Ellana thought she would pass out. She was overwhelmed with sensation. 

Cullen stood up behind her. Admiring the beauty of her full, round ass. He thought of how lovely it would look, bent over his knees. Red and angry from his punishment. 

He popped open the bottle of oil that he had been keeping in his drawer. Excited for the opportunity to use it for more than just taking himself by hand on lonely nights.

He dribbled the oil over her.

Ellana finally lifted herself off the desk. Her hair clung to her neck. He had access to her magnificent ears and neck again now.

He gently slid a finger into her. Massaging her. Stretching her.

Ellana gasped at the intrusion.

“Tell me love,” he whispered tenderly into her ear. “Has anyone ever taken you here?”

They both knew the real question. Had she and Solas ever? Cullen wanted to claim her. He wanted something that was his and his alone. He didn’t want memories of the elf to be a part of anything between them. In fact, he fully intended to spend the rest of his life making her forget HE ever existed.

“No, Commander,” she said tentatively. Fear, anticipation and lust rolling through her body.

“Would you allow  _me_? Can I have you, Inquisitor?” He slid a second finger into her.

Ellana squealed. Willing herself to relax as he worked his fingers in and out of her. Stretching her and coaxing her to be able to take him.

“You may not want my promise but it is yours. As am I, Ellana. I always have been." His voice gravelly and full of desire as he slid a third finger into Ellana's ass. "Give me the chance. Tell me you are mine and I will give you everything you have ever wanted Ellana.”

“I am yours Cullen. I am yours. Please.”

Cullen replaced his fingers with his cock. Easing the tip just inside of her. Ellana grabbed at the desk but remained silent. Cullen pushed just a bit deeper.

She was so tight. He wasn’t sure how long he would last. He pushed in slowly and began to move in an out of her tight virgin hole. 

Ellana keened at the new sensation. The burn and stretch were so intense. A heady mixture of pain and pleasure. But most importantly she felt _something._ Anything was better than the emptiness that has consumed her in the last few months.

After a few minutes, the pain began to subside. Replaced by a sense of fullness. She began to rock back and forth, encouraging Cullen to go deeper.

Soon he was thrusting into her fully. Ellana moaned and called out his name.

Hearing her sweet voice and watching her undulate beneath him, Cullen knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He reached around and began to press circles into Ellana’s pearl.

“Oh sweet creators, Cullen yes!” She screamed.

“Come undone for me, sweetheart,” he begged.

Hearing his word caused Ellana to release. Sending spasms through her body that caused Cullen to tip over the edge with her.

He came hard inside of her with a loud roar befitting of his nickname, with only a moment’s regret that he had finished in a way that could not leave her with his child.

Cullen held her silently against him. Breathing heavily until he finally collapsed back into his chair, knees weak and barely able to support himself.

Ellana slowly turned to face him. Their eyes met and he pulled her into his lap before she had the chance to overthink or second guess as she was prone to do.

Ellana buried her head into his neck. For the first time in nearly a year, she felt safe. Loved. 

They could have stayed like this forever, but eventually she pulled away to look at him. Ellana had never seen anyone look so happy in her life. Realizing that it was for her made her feel warm inside. Her heart began to race, surprising even herself. She had assumed that part of her was long dead. 

“Did you mean all of those things, Cullen?” Ellana asked tentatively.

Cullen smiled. Gently kissing her. “Every word, my love. Every word.”

 

 

 


End file.
